I looked down at the tormented bodies.There owners gave there life for the city but that was not enough for the city of Vage was now emmiting flames that rose and licked the sky. Nothing stopped the horde of wraiths that swarmed there way through Darhurk , Krage and Merbut in there millions ending any dwelling life and now they had done it to Vage. These wraiths Formally known as purpel trolls were faster than a galloping horse , stronger than the ordinary bulltrolls that raomed Naraithion like sheep , slautering any thing or any one that cluters there path . No, these arent ordinary . These new Trolls were cunning , they could think , they migrated in there milions from city to city consuming all life . We are going to make one last stand in Prage the great Empire , all soldiers in all other citys that will soon Face the inevitable of the horde came to to Prage to make there stand allong with a million other humans .
Good plot? , what do you think
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm well this is an interesting one. I will say as far as being a plot goes this one is really a bit too close ended to really work. It seems much more like something of a setup to a large fight scene than anything else and so in that sense if you want this entire story to just be this it would have to be some sort of short story based on only the fight or it really won't amount to a lot.
Moving past the plot not quite measuring up though, the bit that you do have does sound quite interesting. There is enough sort of almost specific detail being dropped in there that it suggests you've got a pretty solid world built up too and I think something like this could be quite interesting to explore.
If you could perhaps come up with a little more extra depth to add to the story and really capitalize on this world I think it could certainly make for a pretty intriguing story to read and if nothing else it does seem like it would make for a pretty entertaining fight here if you really showcase these odds as you say.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
this kinda sounds allot like LOTR because of the last stand agains the huge horde of death.... but i thought it was good, but it was just a jumble of words. It was a good jumble of words; you could get somwhere with this
Very bad plot. It is not structured at all. Most plots have a list format, but this is just a jumble of text. In fact, this plot isn't really a plot at all. It seems like your doing a very badly described battle scene/prologue, except it is jumbled beyond coherency.
I dont know , im trying to find the perfect story and then make it a full novel , I got pretty far on chickens revenge but then i ditched it . And about the grammer , ill do spell check every time but if you do find some mistakes , im not trying to disapoint its just that i find it hard to use correct grammer when writing imaginatively .
Yes creativity is always important but, grammar and spelling is also crutial to a good story. The plot is good but, it seems like you have many stories posted already. Are you going to finish any of those?
Good start. Totally continue. And as for the gramer stuff, not a huge deal. Try proofing it before you post. But I'm sure creativity is much more important.
Is this mostly just to express the plot? I wasn't sure.
Well, there's a lot of grammatical errors in that. You keep putting spaces before commas and full stops, which shouldn't be there. Also, you switched tenses.
Here you are writing in past tense.
Here you've switched to present tense.
And here you switched back to past.
The plot ... it's pretty good. A nice solid start. You'd probably want to build on it as the story progresses though. A simple this side versus this side war needs other things too. It's not the most original idea, but if you do it well it'll work fine.